22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law- abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by documented cyclical changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer mom s driving SUV's.
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States .
21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.
22. You have to believe that it's okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day but it's not okay to say "Merry Christmas."
5 comments:
Those are good! Very good!
The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital in Washington D.C. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
'Yes, Father?' said the nurse.
'I would really like to see President Bill and Senator Hillary Clinton before I die,' whispered the priest.
'I'll see what I can do, Father.' replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; the Clintons would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Hillary commented to Bill, 'I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it certainly will help our images and might even get me elected President. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN IT. ' Bill agreed--it was a very good thing for her campaign once they put out a press release about it.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the old priest took Bill's hand in his right hand and Hillary's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face. Finally Bill Clinton spoke. 'Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?'
The old priest slowly replied, 'I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.'
'Amen,' said Bill.
'Amen,' said Hillary.
The old priest continued, 'He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same.'
lmao....that is funny!!!
Hillary Clinton, the lead Presidential Democratic Party candidate is for banning all guns in America. She is considered by those who have dealt with her as a little more than just a little self-righteous.
At a recent rural elementary school meeting in north Florida she asked the kids audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, she started to slowly clap her hands, once every few seconds.. Holding the audience in total silence, she said into the microphone, 'Every time I clap my hands, a child in America dies from gun violence.'
A young voice with a proud southern accent (probably Little Johnny) from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet!
'Well, stop clappin, ya stupid bitch!
Tokyo Rose
"The other night we watched a movie called, "Flags of our Fathers." During the movie, I pointed out the radio broadcast of "Tokyo Rose."
She had the best music on her station. During World War II; the
Japanese developed a way to demoralize the American forces
Psychological warfare experts developed a message they felt would work.
They gave the script to their famous broadcaster "Tokyo Rose" and every day she would broadcast this same message packaged in different ways. The Japanese hoped it would have a negative impact on American GI's morale.
What was that demoralizing message? It had three main points:
1. Your President is lying to you.
2. This war is illegal.
3. You cannot win the war.
Does this sound familiar today?
It is because we are being bombarded by Tokyo Hillary, Tokyo Harry, Tokyo Teddy, Tokyo Nancy, Tokyo Murtha, etc., and they have picked up the same message and are broadcasting it to our troops on Tokyo CNN, Tokyo ABC, Tokyo CBS, Tokyo NBC, etc. Does anyone really believe that these people care one bit about the safety of our troops?
All these have a vested interest in our losing this war: If we win, Bush is a hero. If we lose, then Bush can be blamed for decades.
The only difference in Tokyo Rose and these people is that they claim to support our troops before they demoralize them. Come to think of it, Tokyo Rose told the troops she was on their side too."
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